SO STRESSED. since morning until now. have been trying many means to destress, eg watching my favourite drama, sleeping, chatting online, music, drink coffee. the means r effective but not for long..after a while the stress returns. sigh..can hardly breathe.
hope i will feel better after dinner later. hope just anyone at all can have a good chat with me for just a few minutes.
met up with Evona a while ago at Mid Valley together with Eugene How, Ken Chiew n Tho Wei. Evona's bf n younger sis joined us too. Simon supposed to come but he couldnt make it. went for a dinner n also a movie. nothing much to watch nowadays..we picked The Ant Bully. the movie wasnt too bad. just a simple movie. after the movie we went home. couldnt hang out longer becos tmr is sunday n Evona needs to go church early in the morning.
felt quite happy to meet Evona. have not been keeping contact with her for quite some time. can see that she is quite happy now, which is good. actually the outing wasnt too bad. hope can meet her again together with Sook Meng.
From left : Evona's sis, Evona's bf, Evona, me, Eugene, Tho Wei n Ken Chiew
Evona
the amount of work is worrying. i hope i can get through next mon, tues n wed fast. thursday off i go to Taman Negara. forget about the reports n assignments for a while. can i dont do my work n go sleep? sigh...
these few days had been so busy. rushing one work after another. had not been sleeping well for a few days. thought today after i settled the presentation i could give myself a short little break, go shop for a pair of high heels for the ball next month. well..the presentation wasnt too bad. but before i got a chance to start my little break by first having my lunch, i received some horrible annoying news. well those words were meant to be good, becos the purpose was to clear up some misunderstandings. but at that moment the least i wanted to hear was horrible things that can agitate me. i m tired enough already after rushing so much n sleeping disorderly for few days n all i wanted was to leave uni, go find my high heels n then go home rest, before i start another round of rushing for next week which is going to be so terrible. but..things didnt really go the way i wish.
misunderstanding. misunderstanding. misunderstanding. sometimes i really wonder whether the problem really lies on me myself. sigh i dont know. after hearing those misunderstanding about me, i felt like meeting up all those ppl n told them wat the situation really was. i looked dead n unhappy during the ball last year just simply becos i was really very very tired as i had been rushing my work the night before the ball n i didnt sleep for dat night. i didnt feel unhappy, esp about certain things but just simply plain tiredness. n some ppl were just so annoying. they gave u hurtful replies when u asked them things just simply becos they were worried about some assignments at dat particular moment. then they blamed u for not being direct enough to ask for a request. oh come on, i thought being too direct is hurtful n impolite? so i guess i should be very very direct in future? dont they ever notice dat actually their reply were hurtful? n now they were saying dat i wasnt direct enough in asking for something. n for goodness's sake i have never really shouted on ppl or making rude replies when ppl talk to me during the time when i m rushing my work. sigh..i dont know wat to say.
n yes. another presentation next week. not to mention the reports n assignments. presentation = stress. got to face my hardworking groupmate again. n yes today already got some quite 'nice' reply n yes i was given a very simple task becos my last minutesness i guess had been unbearable for the ppl concerned. well, u dont like my last minuteness, I ALSO DONT LIKE THE WAY U DO THINGS SO FAST. if u dont want to change ur way of doing things becos of me, n obviously i dont expect u to do dat, i also dont want to do things in ur super duper fast way. all i want is just a bit of understanding from u n u cant do dat? then fine. FINE.
after hearing all those misunderstandings, i totally lost my mood to do anything at all. lost my appetite eventhough i was quite hungry. after i bought fried rice for lunch, i didnt feel like eating but just wanted to cry. then after lunch when i left uni, i saw the yellow bus dat i wanted to take ran off before i managed to reach the gate. i wasnt in a mood to wait for a bus, so stubborn me just started walking to dat faraway bus stop without thinking much, ignoring the fact dat today actually i was wearing high heel. well venting anger n unhappiness on myself definitely wont make anyone else except myself suffer right? so dats it. thats the way i treat myself sometimes, will just do silly things to vent my anger or unsatisfaction or watever. i just dont care as long as i can make myself feel at least a bit better or reduce the level of anger or unhappiness. ya i m crazy.
all i hope now is no more hurtful words from anyone. no more news which can agitate me. i cant afford to get agitated with the amount of reports assignments n a little mini test all for me next week. i m really overwhelmed by the amount of work which i need to complete next week.
but nevertheless, some good things still happened for today. - bought the high heels as planned. well heart quite pain actually becos it is quite ex. - it was raining on my way back home. thank god my 2nd cousin could come to the lrt station to pick me up. if not god knows how wet i can get walking home in dat kind of heavy rain with wind.
n he has been sending me to uni EVERYDAY. no matter how early my class is. n i m the one who has been unable to wake up on time becos i sleep at odd hours, he is the one who wakes up on time n come n wake me up. i really dont know how to repay his kindness. so now i only asks him to send me. i make my own way back home, will only call him if no choice, eg raining. just hope dat things will carry on this way for my transport.
there was this morning during the very beginning of my stay in S'pore, i went to withdraw money from the ATM macchine at Junction 8 before i took the mrt to school. it was still very early, around 6.30am plus, n the alley at Junction 8 leading towards the macchine was still dark n not much people were around yet. i remember listening to this song on my blog now, which was played by one of the shops in the shopping center which had not started business yet, while walking towards the ATM macchine alone. the feeling dat i had back then while listening to such a song in such a condition was the same as the feeling u have when u listen to some sad songs all alone during the middle of the night. lonely, sad kind of feeling..whenever i listen to this song, it will always remind me of the feeling i had that morning. a song which reminds me of this little memory i had one morning..
if u know me well enough, guess is not hard for u to know dat i hate ppl pressurize me to do things, no matter whether the thing is something dat i should do or not. it is not going to be pleasant if u give me pressure. well u will still get wat u want from me, but i will hate u. n god knows for how long.
i have a group presentation on this coming friday, n one of my groupmates does her work really fast. she usually finishes her assignments n reports about one week b4 the work dues. totally opposite from the way i do my work. i m the last minute type.
today (well to be accurate is yesterday since now is thursday already) i had a report to pass up. so as usual, i skipped my sleep on tuesday night, trying to get my work done. skipped the morning lectures too, n also my lunch, in order to get the work done. finally around 1.30pm, i got everything done. so i went to pass up the report, then back to the com lab to clear up my stuff, planning to grab something to eat n go for the lecture at 2pm.
when i reach com lab, i saw my hardworking groupmate. she asked me for the part of presentation work which i m supposed to prepare n give on thursday. NOT WEDNESDAY. n i got a report due ON WEDNESDAY. so obvoiusly i havent prepare the part of work which i m supposed to give her on thursday. this was wat she said:
"u havent prepared yet? can u prepare NOW?"
NOW?!?!?!
for goodness's sake, i had just finished rushing a report n just passed it up. i was so tired, so hungry n i was rushing for the lecture at 2pm. the time at dat moment was around 1.30pm plus. n u expect me to skip my lecture at 2pm to prepare something which i m supposed to give u the next day so dat u can get ur part of the work done early?!?!?! i have already said dat i will give u the work on thursday. u cant wait for another day?!?!? n ur friend here is so damn tired n hungry n rushing for a lecture at 2pm n u ask her to skip her lecture at 2pm and prepare something for u which dont due the next day?? n yes, i m NOT going to stay back after my lecture to do it for u. i need AT LEAST 1 hour to get back home ok. will take 1 hour plus to reach IF I M LUCKY. usually is 2 hours plus. if i delay the time to leave uni, eg leaving the uni around 5 pm plus, guess wat time i can reach home? 7 PM plus or 8PM OK!!!!!!
CAN U BE A BIT MORE CONSIDERATE????? i know u want to get things done fast but i was so tired n hungry n JUST passed up my report. instead of asking me to go rest for a while, go eat something, u ask me to prepare for the presentation which takes place on friday? very 'reasonable' request right?!
sigh..think i shall start my work. no use being angry anymore. i know is partly my fault too. start work.
The field trip ended yesterday. it wasnt as fun as the past ones i went, didnt do much things like going around to see nice sceneries or chatting n playing at night when we overnight at the Forest Research Institute Malaysia (FRIM), other than sampling at the 3 different forests. but i had a good rest haha..we went to 3 different types of forests, n it took at least one hour to travel from one forest to the other. so all those travelling time was used for sleeping in the car. n saturday night when we overnight at FRIM, also slept very early around 10pm plus. n the field trip sampling work wasnt very hard n was very fast. so got the rest i wanted. felt quite happy when we went to the secondary forest in Kuala Selangor, which was where we went last time during our ecology trip. looking at the familiar environment, thinking about all the happy moments we had during the ecology trip...it is always nice to think about sweet happy memories n past experiences. nice to go back to the places where u had had some nice n happy experiences. travelling is indeed a very good way to rest ur mind n to enjoy at the same time. going to places faraway, looking at new things and nice sceneries, getting close to nature, being away from everything in life for a while (eg ppl in ur life, ur studies, tv, laptop, internet, not contacting the world), really helps ur mind/body to rest while having fun. all those problems n unhappiness in ur life will seem so insignificant when u look at the enormous nature, being amazed by the way it is, amazed by the beauty of the nature. this kind of relaxation n enjoyment r things u wont be able to get when u spend ur time in shopping malls or just merely staying at home doing nothing. get close to the nature n feel it urself, try it then u will know how it is like. my next field trip: Taman Negara :) hopefully i will be as lucky as the field trips b4, whereby i didnt meet any leeches hehehe.
have been watching CSI series on astro everyweek hehe. really like it. below is my new crush from CSI New York :)
he is called Danny in the series, one of the CSI detectives dat works in the lab.real name: Carmine Giovinazzo(height:1.75m..taller than me. good :p)
went for a movie today. wanted to do a little shopping for the ball next month too. watched Click. a very nice comedy which not only made me laugh, but also cry. a movie which is more than just a comedy, telling us that we can never reverse time and we should cherish it. n we should give priority to our family in life. a movie worth watching.
saw a nice dress. fit me well too. but cost RM230. sigh..couldnt make myself pay so much for a dress which most probably i can only wear it once for the ball, since i seldom go for any special functions or any wedding dinners. actually managed to borrow a dress from my friend but it didnt fit me very well. a bit loose..will see how things go then.
so tired. kind of depressed. need some time for myself to sort out my mind. my feelings. hope the field trip during the weekend will help.
sometimes i wonder..what would really happened if i die? or something not dat good happen, eg knocked down by a car when i cross the road? (well i dont believe in the touching wood thing) how would ppl around me react?
well..life is just a little thing dat we can lose any minute. who knows what would happen the next second?
sometimes just wonder..whats the point of living anyway?
but maybe by the time when the moment came whereby u realise u r going to die, maybe only then u would realise actually life is so precious n everyone should cherish it before it slips away from u. n u dont want to lose this precious little thing already becos u want to live more out of it.
STRESSED. medical microbiology report due tmr n i m just starting now...i can only write 6 pages n since i have time until 1pm tmr, think i should be able to make it. but still kind of stressed. sigh..last few days was not feeling well. flu makes ppl tired. wanted to start last night but i was too tired. went to take a nap around 8pm n wanted to wake up at 10pm to do my work, but i ended up waking up at 3am this morning...the time was only enough for me to prepare my tutorial for today. sigh i will be fine after i settle this report.
My 2nd cousin is back from China! :) happy to see him. few weeks never see him. relieved too, hopefully with him around, i can have less worries for my transport. hopefully.
Weekend. going for field trip! :) will be going to Kuala Selangor again. hopefully we can go up to that tall tower to see the beautiful sceneries like last time we went. n i was really lucky. hehe..i was a bit worried about my immunology report which dues on next monday, since i will be going for field trip for the weekend n i wont be having much time to do my report. but today, we were told that the due date for report was posponed until next wed. NOT NEXT MON :D hehehe...at least i dont have to worry too much for my report during the field trip. was worrying that i cant make it but now the due date is postponed. the next thing i hope is i wont meet any leeches during the field trip. wish me good luck.
Feel slightly better now. think i should continue with my work.
Yesterday went to sing K with Tho Wei n Ken Chiew. went to Redbox in Sungai Wang Plaza. quite fun hehe..last time used to hear that Tho Wei can sing quite well. now i really do believe hahaha. i will support him if he ever takes part in Malaysian Idol. dont understand y most of the english songs in redbox do not have lyrics provided. n our poor Ken Chiew here cant read mandarin. so very limited choices of songs for him to choose. but surprisingly they provided romanji lyrics for the Korean song 'I believe', the soundtrack from My Sassy Girl. so he sang dat, transformed into a Korean for a few minutes haha. after Redbox we went to Lau Yat (a place like Sim Lim Square in S'pore). watched them shop for computer stuff..after that we went to Timesquare to eat n chat. quite a nice chat. then time to go home.. Tho Wei n Ken Chiew at Redbox
Corpse Bride n the blur groom. Saw them in a model shop in Lau Yat. their eyes are so big! hahaha..
Sick again. nose like water pipe most of the time. even tears also kept flowing today, so by the end of the day my eyes really looked like those on the gold fish haha..hope tmr will be better.
Help dropped from the sky again! somehow today met a friend's friend who helped me to ask for transport help from another person. if it really works then i dont have to worry much about my transport to n fro uni anymore :) wish me good luck
Bedtime. dont want my flu to turn worse n tmr got to wake up early to go uni myself. flu flu go away...
Trying to do my work while watching tv now hehehe :p sigh dont like to do this..i would rather just watch tv n only do my work after the show, so that i can concentrate better for both. but tmr i will be going out. so...sacrifice a bit loh hehe. do some work while watching. is a live concert in JB! haha where my home is.
is a hp bag hehe. free when u buy Darlie tooth paste haha. i bought the toothpaste becos of this cute bear :p the white part behind the bear is the bag. my new teddy :)
Actually finished blogging already in the evening but after i published it i realised the post was empty...the title, timing, new post all appeared except the content which i have typed for quite some time.so retype again loh. wat to do..sigh
Have not been blogging for about 1 week becos no time. wanted to blog but no time. no chance. i was either preparing tutorial, sleeping or doing work. reports n assignments start to flood in. from now onwards, weekends, especially Sundays, will be used for reports. i have a lab session every Monday so will have to pass up the lab report for the previous lab. thus there goes my Sundays n supposedly Saturdays too. will try not to turn Sunday nights into sleepless nights, try not to rush report during the very last minute.but so far i have failed for last Sunday and also yesterday night. sigh..bad habits r really hard to change. aiya should just say i m not determined enough. sigh
Last Saturday watched Dragon Tiger Gate with my movie kaki and her guy friend. i like the movie. the action scenes were quite cool. Donnie Yen was cool :p hahaha..feel like watching again but currently no plans for it. not really free these days n also want to reduce my expenses. dat night after the outing i learnt something n i have a little advice for guys: if u ever want to treat ur friends, do ensure that u have enough cash in hand before u volunteer to pay. if not dont ever say u want to treat. it will be embarassing if u realise u dont have cash in hand after u have said that u want to give ppl a treat. remember this k, is for ur own good.
Sigh..dont feel like saying much anymore. tired. last night didnt sleep much becos of assignment. feel like going back home to JB. I WANT TO GO HOME
陶喆 忘不了
(this new version of this song which is actually an old song sounds kind of funny. but cool in a way too)
Yesterday was watching this taiwanese idol drama, The Magicians of Love (爱情魔发师). in the drama there is this girl called Ke Lan who likes this guy called Richie. she has been helping him to look after his son. yesterday the episode had this scene whereby Richie called Ke Lan to thank her for looking after his son all these while. obviously Ke Lan felt happy n contented. haha kind of understand how Ke Lan felt at that moment. after u have done someone u considered special a favour, just a simple thank you from that person will make u so happy too, may just brighten ur day. i used to feel how she felt too. used to.
Feel a little down today becos of the fall last night. my knee is painful even when i m just sitting down, not to mention walking. walk super duper slow today haha. cant walk fast. take so long to walk from one place to another. the destination seems to be so faraway eventhough is just within uni. so today i decided for once i should just wait patiently for the mini bus to bring me to the bus stop instead of walking out. while waiting, i got a call from one of my uni friends...
"y r u standing there? who r u waiting for?" (well if someone said dat obviously this person is around u somewhere n can see u right?) so i asked.."where r u?" (n i looked around but i didnt see the person) "somewhere la..wat r u doing there?"
Then only he told me his location..he was waiting for his gf in his car, which was just packed right at the back of the car in front of me..just 1 or 2 steps away from me..hahaha n yet i didnt see his car, didnt see him when he tried to call me by waving at me. finally he decided to call my hp. hahaha blur la. but couldnt blame me ma. i wasnt expecting anyone coming or wat. all i wanted to see was the yellow bus to appear.
At the end he actually offered to drop me at the bus stop after i told him i was waiting for the bus to go there :) no need to wait for the bus. no need to waste bus ticket money. nice :)
Last night i did have a small thought crossing my mind hoping dat today i would be lucky to have a ride to the bus stop. n today, it really happened! help really did drop down from the sky, right in front of me somemore. really nice isnt it? when wat u thought about n hoped for actually did happened. how i wish it works everytime haha.
Had a chat with my 2nd cousin who has graduated lately n now enjoying his life in China. well..for these 2 years of my uni life, we used to go to sch together almost everyday, went home together almost everyday. during my last holidays we went to a few places together too. so sometimes do kind of miss him since he has been away for 1 or 2 weeks. do hope that he can find a job n eventually one day can become a successful animator. hopefully one day can have the chance to watch the animation he creates in the cinema or on tv n then can tell the ppl ard me dat the producer is my cousin.
Met up with Eugene How, Ken Chiew, Tho Wei n Yan Min in the evening for dinner. too bad Ben Shyen couldnt join us. long time never see him. we went to One Utama (one of the shopping centres in KL) for dinner. chat chat chat while eating. we started the meal ard 8pm plus n only left when the shop was going to close which was ard 10pm. then we decided to go somewhere for mamak. we went to Murni. one of the famous mamaks in KL. so another round of chatting n eating. it was good to meet up. just chatting n see how everyone is doing in life. is good that we can meet at least once every year. i wonder how things will turn out next year since i will be graduating ard mid year next year. where will i be then? wonder whether we will still be able to meet up like this.
Fell down right in front of my house just now before i went into the house. nothing too bad. just some minor scratches on my right knee. but can feel the pain from that patch of scratches. hope it wont hurt too much. still need to travel back home tmr myself after my classes end. walking for some distances from the uni to bus stop maybe is avoidable if i m lucky enough to have a coursemate to drop me at the bus stop but i still got to walk into my house when i finally reach the taman i stay. a ride back home? haha guess i will only have it if i m really lucky tmr. stupid huh? hurt my leg when i need to use it so much nowadays. must really be more careful. hope tmr the scratches will dry up n not much pain.
Last night was horrible. just couldnt accept the rejection i received for the request i made, asking whether i can be sent to uni today. n the rejection was not done in a very friendly way. felt so sad. felt so bad. so unsatisfied about it. again the idea of moving out arose in my mind n this time round i was SO determined. just felt like moving out the next day if possible. went to check whether there is any vacant rooms available in the hostel of my uni today after i reached uni but obviously no. now is 3rd week of the new sem, i would be quite surprised if there was any. anyway after some thinking..about wat my mum said n wat my friend said..ya maybe i was just being a bit unreasonable n too irrational. n since there isnt any vacant room in hostel..i would still stay on for a while. bear with it. n be more independent, will try to go uni 2 days out of the 5 days in a week since the class starts at 10am for those 2 days, which means i can still make it for the classes eventhough i take public bus. the other 3 days i have early class so i still got to ask for the favour to be sent. hopefully things will work out this way.
Today..apart from the times where i still felt bad about wat happened last night n tried to figure out wat to do, it was quite a good day. a few of us interviewed a lecturer today. this interview is an assignment n we got to pick the lecturer randomly by taking one of the papers with the lecturer's name on out of all the papers. i was the one who went to make the choice becos i knew that i can be kind of lucky at times. n yes! i was lucky! the lecturer i picked was such a nice person. we gave him the questions that we would ask him during the interview last friday for his preparation, n he actually wrote all the answers down on a paper for us! haha. he just gave us the paper with all the answers when we went to interview him, n we didnt have to actually ask him questions by questions n tried hard to jot down everything he said! so nice! but we still went through the answers n asked him to give explanations for the things that we still had doubt on. n he answered them patiently. felt so happy after the interview becos it was such an easy job becos the lecturer was so nice! did us such a big favour by preparing n writing down all the answers for us. lucky us to get such a nice lecturer for the interview :)
Tmr will be good too becos i guess luck is still with me. will have no problem to reach uni in time for the 8am lecture tmr becos i will be sent. THANK GOD. if not i got to leave the house at 6am?!....n tmr will be meeting some friends for dinner :) hope tmr everything will go smooth
