alive

havent been blogging for some time. had been occupied with work and also the poster for my project. finally completed the poster yesterday, and the presentation will be on thursday. kind of nervous..will get through it somehow anyway. should be fine. i hope..

quite like my job..because of the field work part. once in a while i will have to go to the plantation in Port Dickson, away from the city, the cars, the buildings. be with the nature for a while. well it is true that other than oil palm trees, there are just still more of oil palm trees. nothing much. but i like the clear blue sky, and the peacefulness in the estate. just like to be away in the wild for a while. next week will be my first sampling. hope it will go well :)

hope the movie plan tomorrow will work. has been really quite some time since the last movie i watched, which was...the nightmare detective? just hope tomorrow i can catch the movie. have another movie in mind for thursday, after the presentation. yes desperate for some fun..need some rest and fun

might be going to Fraser's Hill on friday and saturday...but..just feel like staying at home. or maybe i should go and have some fresh air, and also some nice scenery. will decide when time comes

life is unpredictable. and i hate it at times. hate it

thoughts

these 2 days have not been feeling very happy. angry. but due to different things. i start to wonder, why do i end up doing honours? i have not really planned for this. in fact, i have never wanted to do it. my initial plan all this while was, to finish my degree and go out there, find a job, make money, and start to do whatever in life that i want to do, get whatever in life that i want to get. i have only planted the seed by applying for the course. and see now how the seed has grown. to study and work at the same time, eventhough just doing a part time job, is not easy. i dont have a car, thus i have to travel around by taking bus. 7 buses in a day is no fun. and to decide on when to go back to the office and when to be back to uni is another headache. things just dont go as i plan at times..just hate it. and now...start to taste how cruel life can be. when you are still new, means you will have to learn, have to tolerate when people just dont give you nice replies, cannot grumble because you are still no good, have to TOLERATE no matter what. this thing is very common in working places, is also not very rare in a campus, eventhough i m still a student. i should stop being so naive, thinking that why people have to behave like that. THIS IS LIFE. FACE IT.

i should stop grumbling. no point. there is no turning back. when challenge comes, you take it and deal with it. thats it.

today dropped by a boutique when i went to save my nike shoes. wanted to buy a new pair, but just cant make myself to take out rm200 for a new pair. anyway, saw a short dress which looks quite nice, and quite cheap, less than rm60. and this makes me thinking about Monash Ball hahaa. if i am going this year, this dress will come in handy. but this sem is different, most of my friends have left uni, no organiser, and no point going too. dont think i will go. time really flies, doesnt it? last year there was this girl who sang Kiss Me towards the end of the ball. memories are still so fresh. sometimes just hate it. why cant i forget things? why am i able to remember things so well??? whats the point???

sorry..nothing seems to sound nice in this post. but i have to vent it out. not happy means not happy. no need to hide. dont like to hide.

lonely

project is progressing bit by bit, which really makes me happy when i think about it. did a trial test for the water samples that i collected on last sunday, and saw the results today. did get some positive results :) and the research asistant that guides me said that my agar plate looked quite nice. praises on work from people who are quite professional already in the same work do sound good, dont they? just hope things continue to go well..

i guess now i can quite understand why people say research life is boring. the amount of people we meet in the lab area is really small, and for me i guess i can be considered more fortunate, since i have 2 labs to move around, eventhough it still doesnt make much difference. at least i dont have to get stucked in the same lab everyday. i will be in lab 3 when i am doing my microbiology work, if not i will be in lab 5, which is where i will be doing my environmental part, the invertebrates part. lab 3 is quite lively, 3 research assistants and 3 honours students including me. all girls. and they keep playing stephanie sun's songs until they get stucked in my head hahaha. i prefer a lab without music though, but it is not my lab, so i should just get used to it. as for lab 5, there are only 3 of us using the lab, 2 pre-master course students and me. quite like the lab because there is not much people to deal with but just 3 of us, and i can officially claim a place there and stay there as long as i want. can use and touch anything as i wish. just like my own lab. the 2 guys in my lab are quite nice, especially tse yuen. he has been in the lab for some time, so he knows more than i do. has been helping me when i have questions and very nice to chat with. glad to have him in the lab. but life gets really boring when i am the only one in the lab, like today. so quiet and liveless hahaa..except the sound of the bubbles coming out from the aquarium containing the water cockcroaches. and we have another smaller aquarium now with some apple snails and another bug which i am not sure what it is called from the tin mine lake they had field trip on last saturday. very cute little bug, still alive and can swim quite fast in the water. i like the green plants by the window, which show another sign of life in the lab. hope they wont die hahaa..

sometimes just feel a bit too quiet in the lab area. and when people that you meet in the lab dont appear you feel even worse..more quiet than ever. dont have much people to share things with. guess after i go for my sampling, i wont feel bored and lonely anymore. i will be too busy dealing with the samples. miss the time when we go for lectures, where we will meet people everyday, chat with the closer ones everyday, moving from one venue to the other, meeting more people. i have long lost my addiction on msn i guess...last time used to engage in daily chattings with people, but now..most of the people are very busy, and most of the time i am just too lazy to think of anything to say. dont feel like starting conversations. dont feel like choosing people to start chatting. i am tired to care too much anymore i guess, especially when the effort doesnt seem to pay off. tired to drive on a one-way street

i have a feeling that i am somehow stucked in a space, never really move on to the new phase. technically i didnt really have a very good rest since i finished my last semester 2 months ago. just kept worrying about getting a job, when i finally secure a part time job, it is time to start my honours too. feel like going home and rest for a while, and come back here start anew feeling fresh. when will i have the chance to go back? maybe i should think less and concentrate more

tanah merah trip. today

the trip to Tanah Merah plantation on saturday was quite a nice one. quite an enjoyable day. there were 5 of us going there together: Mr John, the advisor from Wild Asia who brought his wife and his 5-year-old son along; James, the intern from UK and me. Mr John and James were involved in the eco-mating of a part of the eroded river bank in the plantation, while i was there to check out the potential sampling sites


in Mr John's car. around 7am plus. a lovely cloud which doesnt really look very lovely here



the road outside the staying place for Wild Asia people



loading the eco-mats and the blocks to the truck to be transported to the working site. the mats are made out of fibers of unwanted parts of a oil palm fruits, and they can attached to the eroded river bank better than the plastic covers that normally people use to cover the side of the high ways when landslides occur



from left: Mr John's son, Mr John, one of the people who are in charge of the eco-mating and Mr John's wife.


James, the intern from UK

a potential sampling site at Sungai Janging. the river looks yellowish but actually it is just the colour of the sediments which are sand in the river. the water is actually quite clear

at the middle of the river. this was where me and Mr John' s son, Bryn, spent some time 'sampling' while his dad was busy at work somewhere near the front part of the river. the little boy brought along his little net and a little box to catch the larvae, small fish, little shrimps in the river, just like what i am going to do during my own sampling. believe me, this 5-year-old boy's sampling skill is really very impressive. he managed to catch quite a number of things, just by using a little net. and he is just 5 years old!!!

little Bryn showing me some fruit that he found on a plant.

they have plenty of chicken shit flowers at the site

another potential sampling site somewhere in the middle of the plantation. the river still looks quite ok, flowing with clear water

downstream of the above site. the yellow car over there is Mr John's car

this is our so called Pig River. it got its name because of the dead pig found in the river some time ago when Mr JOhn checked out the plantation. yes. it is very yucky-looking and it is giving out a very 'nice' smell. i actually went down there, just by the river to collect some water samples. the soil which i stepped on was very soft, and i thought it was just normal mangrove soil. but to my surprise, the 'soil' which i stepped on was actually BLACK GREASE. eeewwwwwww...

then the last stop was the reservoir. it started to rain when we reached there. in fact at the very beginning at the first river site it had already started to rain..the water looked ok from far. but when you are by the reservoir, you will know that actually does not seem to be as clean as it appears to be..there are a layer of something at the surface of the reservoir. just doesnt look clean.

after the eco-mating was finally done, we went to Port Dickson town in search of lunch. in the end we found this chinese restaurant and had quite a nice meal there..thanks to Bryn, we had crab other than a fish, some pork and a vege. then me and Mr John's family headed back home, while Mr John and James stayed on for the eco-mating work. quite a fun trip...didnt feel like working, more like just a trip for enjoyment. nice

as for today...the most interesting thing is that, my lecturer actually brought in some water cockcroaches and currently rearing them in the lab!!! haahaha. water cockcroaches from the river in FRIM. she wants to know about their eating habits and whether they swim in water. one of them is seriously very big hahaa. hopefully wont see them anywhere outside the tank containing them :p

starting off

have been really busy and tired these few days. getting my materials ready for my project, meeting my lecturers almost everyday to discuss and clarify things with them, learning the protocol for the microbiology part of the project which i will perform after i do my sampling, learning more about my part time work for the company that offers me this project...ya. walking around so much in uni until people start to wonder why i am so free since they can just bump into me here and there haha. the thing is i am walking around to settle things, not touring around just for fun. and this is the part which makes me really tired. by the end of the day, after i reach home around 8pm plus together with my cousin, all i want to do is to have my dinner and then sleep. very tired..no doubt after a few weeks of free life, this sudden start of busy life again is taxing. glad that most of the things are quite ready now, except some details here and there, and also have to keep learning. just hope things will go well

yesterday i went to the office of the company to discuss about the details of the trip to the plantation that we are going to make this weekend. guess how many buses i took yesterday?? 2 to get to the office which is in Sri Hartamas, 3 to get back to uni which is in Sunway, then another 2 to go home after uni. total: 7 buses, for one whole day. 7 !!! have never done this before, yesterday was the first time hahaa..so many. but thank god the waiting time spent for the buses was still quite acceptable. and also didnt spend much money on them, thanks to the bus fee system of one of the bus company, whereby you buy one ticket and it can be used for any other buses of the same type that you take on the same day. so, you can just pay once and take as many buses as you like, as long as they are the same type. but it was really tiring

really glad that i will be going for a field trip soon. need to rest and have some fun, eventhough i know going there means working. will be going to the oil palm plantation in Port Dickson tomorrow. initially i am supposed to leave this evening, and then will spend the next 4 days there. but because of some situations concerning myself, now the plan has to change and i will only be going there tomorrow and be back tomorrow. haihhh...but all these are done becos of a good intention. feel quite guilty but cant help. feel quite sorry for all the trouble that i have caused. well anyway just hope the trip will be fun, and when i am back i will be one happy girl again, like i always do after field trips :) hope everything will go well tomorrow

transition blues

watched a new japanese drama on tv yesterday and they have this song that i am playing here as the ending theme song. sounds quite nice. you can check here for the translation of the lyrics, if you want to know what he is singing about..

kind of worried about my project..just in the transition period for the new studying phase i guess. need a bit more time before i can get out of the think-too-much state. should just concentrate on my readings

things are going to be fine. i will be fine

great news

going to do my honours while doing the project as a job. the company is going to take me in as a part time research assistant and pay me a monthly salary..at the same time, i will be working for my honours year. the project will determine whether i will end up as a first class student or worse..

it is the best news so far for these few weeks :) eventhough they didnt really agree to sponsor me much..

but to think about it...is it really good to do honours? can i really write a thesis and present it nicely??....well i will have to, right? hahaha...if not i will waste all those money..

cant believe that things really turn out like the way i really hope it can. doing an honours plus doing a project that i am interested in..at first i thought i will have to deal with the rats, which i know i cant even inject them hahhaa. now things just seem ok :)

still a great thing for me anyway :) hopefully i will get the agreement soon and start my work soon. tomorrow will go do all those enrolment thingy. cant wait for tomorrow to come. i am just excited! :D

another round of waiting

a little magic done by my dear friend Ding Ying that managed to bring a smile on me today...

before the magic:

after the magic:

thanks!! :D

while i was browsing through deviant art in the afternoon, came across this painting:

Funguys by Wolfess-fuzzpot

and it reminds me of my own fungi that i drew some time ago...

had the urge to post up the picture there too...hahaa. the painting by Wolfess-fuzzpot is done using water colour and HB pencil. mine is coloured pencils. different materials, different feel too. so cant really compare i guess. and i know it is not easy to use water colour and produce such tones on the pictures, eventhough the effect may make it look as if it is easy to produce. i think the actually piece of picture by Wolfess-fuzzpot should look more stunning..

the start of the week marked the start of another round of waiting for replies about the project. mood has not been very good these days, kind of down..plus the aimless waiting again..just makes things worse i guess hahaa. well cant do much about it right...so just try to keep myself busy loh. today i cleared up my laptop, i should have more space n thus faster speed once i get those files out of my com. going to burn them out. will go out n have some air tomorrow.

please give me some replies!!! god...i hate waiting :(