thoughts

these 2 days have not been feeling very happy. angry. but due to different things. i start to wonder, why do i end up doing honours? i have not really planned for this. in fact, i have never wanted to do it. my initial plan all this while was, to finish my degree and go out there, find a job, make money, and start to do whatever in life that i want to do, get whatever in life that i want to get. i have only planted the seed by applying for the course. and see now how the seed has grown. to study and work at the same time, eventhough just doing a part time job, is not easy. i dont have a car, thus i have to travel around by taking bus. 7 buses in a day is no fun. and to decide on when to go back to the office and when to be back to uni is another headache. things just dont go as i plan at times..just hate it. and now...start to taste how cruel life can be. when you are still new, means you will have to learn, have to tolerate when people just dont give you nice replies, cannot grumble because you are still no good, have to TOLERATE no matter what. this thing is very common in working places, is also not very rare in a campus, eventhough i m still a student. i should stop being so naive, thinking that why people have to behave like that. THIS IS LIFE. FACE IT.

i should stop grumbling. no point. there is no turning back. when challenge comes, you take it and deal with it. thats it.

today dropped by a boutique when i went to save my nike shoes. wanted to buy a new pair, but just cant make myself to take out rm200 for a new pair. anyway, saw a short dress which looks quite nice, and quite cheap, less than rm60. and this makes me thinking about Monash Ball hahaa. if i am going this year, this dress will come in handy. but this sem is different, most of my friends have left uni, no organiser, and no point going too. dont think i will go. time really flies, doesnt it? last year there was this girl who sang Kiss Me towards the end of the ball. memories are still so fresh. sometimes just hate it. why cant i forget things? why am i able to remember things so well??? whats the point???

sorry..nothing seems to sound nice in this post. but i have to vent it out. not happy means not happy. no need to hide. dont like to hide.