.....

full of hatred. i dont know what to say

get another new job? i dont know. i only know i start to cry a lot after i started working there. just like the time when i was having a hard time during my pre-U. and same thing happens again: i dont like the sad part but i like the people there. i dont wanna leave just like that. i guess i will still stick on for a while more...or should i?

finally met her last weekend. she is not as bad as i imagine...but is bad enough to crush my heart. if only i can visit her often. i think this is the first time i witness with my own eyes how illness tortures people.....stop torturing her, wouldnt you?

i hate self-centered people. yes i do. people come all the way to such a far place, and you make me lose the chance to meet them for a longer time because you cant / dont want to wake up in the morning????? you dont know that i do get angry, no?

time to get off. good bye

another night

i think i should never blog at night, especially on weekdays after work haha..i dont think there will be much nice things to be talked about, since i am tired. and sadness usually goes with tiredness. but i will try

i wish the night can be longer. so that i can upload all the photos that i want to upload. tonnes of them waiting for me to have a look. i will find one day

i need a sun in my life. are you the one i am looking for?

grumble

emotion going up and down these days.

very down when i see that people are rushing up to give her a visit. i really want to know how she is. one more week to go before i can see her. i hope our plan will go well.

work..good and bad. i am still not fast enough. i need to be faster. i am trying..can you just stop saying that i am not fast enough????.....colleagues are fine. lab manager is friendly. there are times when i feel quite happy by the end of the day. next week i will be all alone in my department. lets see how i can turn myself into a wonderwoman/superwoman/whatever who can finish all the work by the end of the day, on time, no OT

very lonely. the house has turned so quiet after my uncle and aunt went to Sabah. there is only me alone at home when my cousin is coming home late. no one to talk to. and i feel the need to talk to someone. please dont sound bad to me when i am trying to have a conversation. i just need someone to talk to. how i wish making phone calls is free. msn is free, but i am too tired to get online, and...well it doesnt guarentee that i can get the right person to talk to. i am so lonely

i hope tomorrow will be a better day

hang on

i dont know what to say about life.

please hang on there..we are going to meet you very soon. may god bless you. please bless her. PLEASE

why is the world so small? i dont want to bump into him anymore. please.

i am very tired.

tired