crushed

too many things happen this week..i am just so tired

she has left us forever on Tuesday morning..i have never lost anyone close forever before, this is the first time. i just didnt know how to react. couldnt accept it, didnt want to accept it. but had to learn how to accept it. indeed very sad. i couldnt cry when i really felt like doing so, because it was working hours, but when i finally reached home at night, there were no more tears eventhough i was sad. wanna cry but there was no tears...it was so hard trying to put on a smile during work. so hard to hide how i felt. but managed to find someone to have a good chat yesterday night. i am all fine now. really appreciate the emails and messages that i received, thanks for the concern. may you rest in peace...

my wonderful lab manager has left the lab. quite sad, because all of us had such a nice time working with her. thanks to her training, i have turned from a newbie who knows nothing much about her job, to someone who can now work independently (at least most of the time) in her department. hope she will be happy in her life

i really dont know what i did to deserve all the no-replies on msn and facebook. i just wanted to know why. so i emailed, and tried to start a conversation again, but it only made things worse. another block on msn. why dont you just tell me on the face that you hate me? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS???? T E L L M E! i am a human too! i have feeling too! thanks for crushing me with another bad news after all the bad news this week. go ahead and do whatever you want. i am sad enough already. no big deal with another bad news. WHATEVER

but i am really glad that my ex-boss's wife managed to give birth to a lovely baby girl today. what a perfect family now...

and they showed the movie that i like so much on tv just now...nice.

i dont know how long it will take for me to fully recover. emotionally crushed. cant really feel anything now. i just want to have a good rest